Earlier I posted about Eriq stealing Nick's pop tarts. I told Eriq that he would need to write an apology letter to Nicholas explaining how and why he did this. I couldn't believe the letter....basically it said that when Eriq was doing school work his dad took a break to go to the bathroom. When he did, Eriq took the poptarts and was going to eat them...however, Jim got done too fast and Eriq didn't have time so he threw them in the garbage. He admitted it was because it was something that Nicholas has that he wanted so he just took it. This might be okay if it was the first time...but this is a DAILY occurrence for Eriq. He takes whatever he wants from whoever he wants with no regard for their feelings. I've tried having him apologize or pay for the item, but yet he still seems like he couldn't care less.
Jim and I are not currently speaking because of another argument over Eriq. Jim wants Eriq to play baseball and I don't think he should. We previously agreed that he wouldn't play because of his grades and behavior. Yet when I was napping, Jim decided Eriq should play baseball and signed him up anyway. It turned into quite a disagreement between us as I felt that Jim went "behind my back" to sign him up even after we agreed that he shouldn't play. We've talked about it repeatedly and Jim says that I said he can do what he wants, so Eriq is playing baseball. I completely understand the idea that he needs something to do....but I feel he should work on his behavior and grades first?
Jim and I only ever fight about Eriq and recently the fights have been becoming more frequent and with more severity. Jim may have a different opinion, but I feel like Eriq has major problems in school and life and needs more treatment with a counselor or psychiatrist and maybe even an inpatient facility.
In our house we have set rules about chores, bed time and the way we treat each other, yet, I feel like these rules are only required of my children, and never Eriq. Eriq constantly steals, lies, destroys the house, is disrespectful and many other concerns....yet Jim constantly reminds me kids to do their chores, or that they should be in quiet time, or that they haven't done something they are supposed to. Really? Shouldn't Eriq and his constant misbehavior be addressed more than the trivial infractions of my own children? Or do I just feel that way because they are my children and Eriq isn't?
I am for the first time really feeling concern with my relationship with Jim. I have for the past three years sworn that Eriq will never break us apart...now I'm not so sure. I always felt we were on the same page and partners in the house....supporting each other as we raise our kids. Now I feel like it's me and my kids and Jim and Eriq. We are no longer on the same page and are battling against each other instead of working together. I find myself withdrawing more and more and wanting less and less to do with Eriq and Jim as a result. Is it best for everyone if we part ways? I have heard from SOOO many parents and others who say that Eriq is just adjusting to the new life and that he struggling to adjust to me. If that's the case, wouldn't it be better if I wasn't in the picture?
My own two children are struggling with things on their own right and it is always second to the struggles Eriq faces. How do I make them a priority of my own when so much of my time is spent managing Eriq?
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