Last night Jim addressed the banana incident with Eriq and to my surprise (NOT!) he was innocent of all charges. Eriq claims that another kid on the bus just loves bananas so Eriq gives his the banana from his lunch to this kid, but isn't responsible for the banana mess. Eriq is always innocent and never admits fault so his answer didn't surprise me in the slightest. Dad, however, at my request, had called the school and arranged for Eriq to do some community service at the bus garage on the following weekend. Eriq wasn't happy about that, because after all, he's innocent. The next problem becomes that it is his mom's weekend and Jim wants Eriq's mom to sit at the bus garage while he washes the buses. He texted her about and she said if she can. Where's the accountability of this parents to this child? I personally believe because Jim has custody that she sees it as his problem, not hers, and he can deal with it.
The night continues to get worse. While Eriq is doing his chores, Jim notices a bulge in Eriq's pants pocket and asks what it is. Eriq says nothing, but when Jim dips his hand in Eriq's pocket he find it is full of stolen Girl Scout cookies. I ask Eriq where they came from and Eriq tells me from Jackie at the behavior school...she's a Girl Scout. Hum. I obviously know this isn't true, but have to think about how, when and where these cookies came from. I finish my game of Candy Crush and go downstairs to investigate. Eriq has repeatedly discarded trash in various parts of the rec room that could incriminate him. Jim joined me in the search for what I believed at the time was going to be a box of opened Girl Scout cookies. Eriq has mentioned before hiding the stolen cell phone under the couch but when I looked under the couch there was nothing there. I thought for a minute and remembered that this couch has a rip in the bottom so we flipped the couch backwards to examine the bottom on the couch and as I imagined there was the open box of Girl Scout cookies hidden in the bottom seam rip. Also there was an open, and partly eaten jar of Easter sprinkles, pop tart papers, and other papers from snack cakes. I showed Eriq the evidence and he held to his story that a girl at school gave the box to him and it wasn't stolen from our house. I told Jim to call the police and file unruly charges against Eriq for theft from the Girl Scouts. He totally surprised me when he defended Eriq and said that maybe the cookies were from the girl at school and we should wait until the next day to confirm that they are or are not. This statement shows me exactly where I am in regards to Eriq and where Jim is and we are miles apart. I doubt EVERYTHING Eriq says because in the four years Jim and I have been together I have watched Eriq lie to me and everyone around him repeatedly. He will lie to you even after you've watched him do whatever he's accused of...and he will still deny it. Yet, somehow Jim still has faith that he's telling the truth and defends him and gives him the benefit of the doubt. That is something I simply can not understand.
Let me explain about the Girl Scout cookies...I don't want you to think we are ridiculous parents and get mad about our children stealing cookies. This isn't that. I'm a Girl Scout leader and store extra boxes of cookies in our garage that will be sold to benefit the troop. Sometimes it's 500 boxes, and then closer to the end of the season it's 50 boxes. When Eriq steals these boxes of cookies, it's money from the troop, that I then have to repay. For the three years Eriq has lived with me, every year Girl Scout cookies have walked away. Usually about 20 boxes a season. At $4 a box, we pay an additional $88 a year for the cookies Eriq has stole. Every year we tell Eriq don't touch them, threaten Eriq, and such, yet every year we are in the same position. This year they were all in the garage so we thought they were okay because Eriq was supervised when he was downstairs and couldn't get to them. Well, we were mistaken, obviously.
I stormed out of the house and left to take Bella to our pedicure appointment we previously had planned. In the car on the way to the appointment she asked why we were fighting with Eriq and said that she hates when we fight with Eriq and it makes her sad. That ripped my heart out and made me realize that this fighting and constant bickering and problems with Eriq is having a negative impact on my child. Bella already has enough to deal with and doesn't need this. We went on to the pedicures and had a great time!
When we arrived home, I was surprised to hear that Jim did call the Wintersville Police Department. Officer Gegick came to the house and talked to Eriq about the problems he's having. Jim said that Eriq said that he was making poor choices and needs to make better ones. We hear this daily, yet the behaviors and choices never change. The officer asked about his meds helping Eriq and Eriq says he don't feel they are working so the officer suggested we look for a new doctor. First, how do we know they behaviors are even medicine related? Eriq has admitted to making bad choices...there's no med that is going to change the decisions he's making. Is this really a med issue or a child out of control? The officer referred Jim to Lou Vandeborne or the juvenile department to file unruly charges against Eriq. Jim is supposed to make those calls today, yet I'm not totally sold on the fact that he will.
Last night lying in bed, I feel confidant that now is the time to remove myself and my children from this situation. Eriq is not getting better and is escalating in his behaviors and attitude. How can I reasonably put my children, who are in mourning for their dad, into this situation? They deserve the time and attention from me that is spent on Eriq. I just can't do it anymore. This isn't fair to them.
I told Jim last night I was going to start looking for a house to rent, and I mean that. He asked what to do and the truth is I don't believe there is anything he can do. I can't ask him to remove his child from the house for my safety, sanity and security. I wouldn't want him to ask me to do that with my children, so it seems removing myself from the situation is the only answer.
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